- 1 1. Remind your partner (and yourself) that you value him.
- 2 2. Thanks for the little things.
- 3 3. Practice honesty, even when you are ashamed.
- 4 4. Take care of your appearance.
- 5 5. Promote relationships outside your marriage.
- 6 6. Watch your words.
- 7 7. Install the connection cables yourself.
- 8 8. Enjoy the silence.
- 9 9. Learn about the ebb and flow.
- 10 10. Be nice.
- 11 11. Preserve intimacy and affection, inside and outside the bedroom.
Ways to make your long-term marriage happier – The honeymoon period in most marriages has a lifetime. But does this mean that you cannot restore the feelings of joy and excitement that everyone felt at the beginning of the relationship? of course no. All marriages maneuver through rough spots. Some do not survive long enough to leave the other side unharmed. But many do. Here are the ways to keep your marriage fresh.
1. Remind your partner (and yourself) that you value him.
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After getting married for many years, that emotional kiss when your partner enters the door can easily turn into a kiss on the check that can then become the inability to even look from your computer. Over the course of my 23-year marriage, there are times when I feel that my husband and I have become so accustomed that we are used to an amazing yet comfortable routine. But there is a real risk in that. Studies show that nearly half of the deceived men say the cause is emotional dissatisfaction, not sex. When men don’t feel attached to or appreciated by their wives, they are vulnerable to the advancement of any attractive woman who takes a lustful look at her. And friends, as they work in the opposite direction.
2. Thanks for the little things.
I was guilty of tracking it, and a constant count of who did what. “You cleaned the children’s room, so you have to clean the basement.” “I moved to your job when we got married for the first time, so now you have to move to my home.” “You started having sex the last time. Now it’s your turn.” But playing nipples is childish and will only diminish the trust and contact you have made with your wife. If you are slanted, write down all the positive things your partner does in one day, then thank them. We hope they understand and do the same for you.
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3. Practice honesty, even when you are ashamed.
If you maximize one or two credit cards and find that you hide bills every month, you can bet that you will be bitten again. Ultimately, whether you are applying for a mortgage or just talking about the costs of summer vacations, these types of money problems will arise through a credit report or simply because you cannot afford the cost of the trip. Although marital infidelity usually occurs in bed, it may also occur with money. It will be a difficult way to restore your husband’s confidence if you lie about excessive spending.
In the same way, if you feel that you are not calling your partner as you used to, you should say something now. I learned this lesson the hard way. Once I let my communication problems rot for several months, I couldn’t express my suffering, and my husband and I ended up counseling about marriage for about a year. It took a third party, and a real investment on our part, to get back on track. If I don’t tell myself that things will improve on their own, we may not have gotten to what I call a risk zone.
4. Take care of your appearance.
With so many years and some kids to count on, it’s easy to let his look slip. Think when you met your partner. Were you going with stained sweatpants without brushing your teeth? My guess is not. I’m not saying that you should look like Julianne Moore every time you spend a TV night. But I’ve seen many couples switch from Cliff and Clair Huxtable to Dan and Roseanne Connor, with catastrophic repercussions.
Sometimes my husband says “Wow, you look good” when I walk out the door for a girls’ evening. At least, pay your wife the same courtesy that he makes for his friends by arranging for him or her from time to time.
5. Promote relationships outside your marriage.
I used to go on girl trips while I was married. Yes, I love dealing with my wife and three children. But this weekend with friends is also important. Changing stories with others and enjoying new experiences makes me, I hope, a more interesting person for my wife. When I asked Katie Couric Barbara Striesson the secret of her happy 14-year marriage to James Brolin, she replied: “The time has come.” “It becomes romantic because conversations on the phone become more romantic. You need some distance. “Your marriage should be your main relationship, but it won’t be the only one.
6. Watch your words.
There are many things you should never say to a long husband. The first: “Don’t you think our new neighbor is attractive?” This is a question that you think you want to know the answer to. Nor is it a good idea to start the sentence with: “You know that your problem has always been …” Who wants to know about your partner? We hope to have a very good feeling for ourselves right now and that there is someone you love who indicates that failure in this way only leads to the creation of a love relationship.
7. Install the connection cables yourself.
In life, there are big things and there are small things. The great things, which deplete bank accounts to support the gambling habit, forgetting to mention that in a federal witness transfer program that lives under a false identity or that has a second hidden family in Queens, are, of course , unidirectional streets of the divorce court. But most of us have no problems of this size. Most of us have problems similar to frequent small discomforts, which when stimulants are fed with dissatisfaction and anger, are amplified as Arnold Schwarzenegger. We all know what steroids did to your heart, right?
Most of our problems start small enough: borrow the bird wires from your car and then let them sit in the hall waiting to run, and from these deep painful outbreaks. This leads you to pronounce words like: “If you loved me, I would return the bird’s wires to my car so that I could be saved when I was trapped in a bad neighborhood with a discharged battery.” Evil? ”
8. Enjoy the silence.
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a problem is to get away from it, as it really is. Not all desaires must be addressed. Know that what is meant is not all insult. Practice going out as much as possible. Sorry more. Forget about biting your tongue until the edge bleeds. And from time to time, remember why you married this person. Focus on these reasons and let things not be mentioned.
But the trick to a successful silence is that you really left the problem. If you remain silent and still have bad thoughts, the pain comes from here. As the Beatles told us: “So be it.”
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9. Learn about the ebb and flow.
Relationships are not flat; This is death, in fact. Life has ups and downs, peaks and valleys. We all go through periods when only thinking about life without our partner can send tears to our eyes, and a week later we can’t stand the sound of our breathing by our side. We were all there. The trick is knowing that you will not stay anywhere forever. The truth is that, in marriage, you spend most of your time in an emotional commitment. They are not singing birds, and do not think of the poison that occurs in the paste that will cause the painful death.
This intermediate floor is not between the couple sitting in the restaurant facing each other without speaking. These people actually have floors and still don’t know it. No, the average term is when the months are mixed with years and you know what the reaction will be before saying something. It’s when the book you finished last night automatically switches to your side table and tells you about the recorded episode of “Modern Family” in which you slept. Every day it recedes and flows without waves.
10. Be nice.
We tend to benefit from those we love the most – perhaps because we know they love us and can get away with it. It is the old kicking syndrome. You have a bad day at the office, go home and take it out to your companion. A healthier pattern is to start each day by asking yourself, “What can I do today to make my partner happy?” Doesn’t it make sense to put your best face to someone you love? Look for ways to say “yes”. This rule also applies to parenting, but in a happy marriage people are busy trying to please each other. This sometimes means sitting through endless long ball games, putting a tie, watching a horror movie with your eyes closed, and traveling around ancient civil war fighting sites when you really want to spend a vacation on a beach in Hawaii. It does things for your partner.
11. Preserve intimacy and affection, inside and outside the bedroom.
Intimacy is not just about sex, passion does not just do it on the kitchen table. Bedroom habits age with marriage. There may be no stronger aphrodisiac than walking on the moonlight on a beach that ends in a kiss. There may be no greater emotion than the enthusiasm of a partner in a hospital room trying to attract the nurse’s attention to the sick wife. Don’t let others determine the “normal” or “healthy” sex of your marriage. Know that things change, but that doesn’t make them less exciting or fun. Intimacy comes in many forms, including conversation and cuddling.
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